Pilot: Unlearning rigidity

I never realised how set I was in my ways until July last year, when I moved 400 km away from the Kuala Lumpur that had been my own for most (give or take) of my life. After deferring my decision to do my Masters for five years, I decided it was time to leave my career. It's not as if life stands still - there was a whole lot of working, learning, playing and loving in between. The decision to go back to school was made in light of the fact that I was quickly approaching thirty, after which point, in my analysis I would most likely never do it. It was a decision to improve myself, and one which I don't regret.

But back to my original point. I always envisioned my life as a linear forward projection. I didn't realise how much I had become accustomed to living in my own space, setting my own rules, until I moved here and moved in with my younger brother. The first few weeks were sort of a honeymoon period, I guess, because we were both being mindful of each other. And then our true selves were revealed. I discovered, much to my horror, that we had vastly different notions about cleanliness and keeping common spaces neat. One week, we had decided that I would vacuum and mop the floors while he would do the bathrooms. I peeked in the bathroom to see him standing at the edge, holding the bidet and spraying water pretty much indiscriminately all around. After about three minutes he said, "Ok. Clean what."

So these days, in between disciplining myself to sit for three hours to listen to my octogenarian professor (bless his soul) lecture about the imperatives of urban planning, and learning the whats, whys and hows of public policy, I cook. Listening to french music, sipping my glass of wine, and whipping out things from scratch helps me heal. Literally. I feel good. In the kitchen you quickly learn that you can't follow everything by the book - cooking just doesn't work that way. So I guess it's about unlearning rigidity. Some days my time in the kitchen seems to be the only thing which vaguely resembles my life in KL. And my brother, for all the things that annoy me about him, eats. And that makes it seem all okay.